


Whatever Our Souls Are Made Out Of

by OpusEye



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/M, Family Feels, Pseudo-Incest, Sibling Incest, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-10-14 01:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20592572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpusEye/pseuds/OpusEye
Summary: Reginald Hargreeves was not a giving man and he was not that much better as a father. In his efforts of turning his children into weapons of destruction, Reginald avoids the task of giving his children any names. As the children later would find out, it was a deliberate decision. Without any names, the children were unable to receive their soulmarks, the names of their soulmates.However, when the names are given to them on their seventh birthday, Diego and Vanya find out that perhaps it was better that they never knew the names of their soulmates."He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same" - Emily Brönte





	1. First Day of Creation

**Author's Note:**

> " We re asleep until we fall in love, we are children of dust. But, once you fall in love, you are God, you are pure, like on the first day of Creation" - Leo Tolstoy

The Hargreeves children weren't named until they were seven.

From the time they were born, all the way until their seventh birthday, they were given numbers. It was a cruel, inhumane act but it was an even more cold-hearted considering their Father’s motives. Names were not just an identifier, not a trivial thing in the world of soulmates. Without names they were unbranded, soulmate-less. Only those that were given names could receive their soulmarks. Everyone had the name of their soulmate written across their body. Everyone but the Hargreeves children.

That was, of course, until their seventh birthday.

It was, as usual, not a pompous affair. Mom had made cake, just as she had for the past two years since she came to the house (since she was created by their Dad). There were balloons in the kitchen and the children got to wear something else other than their Academy uniforms. Usually, they were happy on their birthday. But, on that particular October morning, they were numb with nervousness. Just yesterday, their Father had told them that they’d be given their names as gifts. (Albeit, he said it airily, dismissively as if he was unaware how much his children longed to get the marks that they’d been seeing and hearing about everywhere around them).

Allison kept babbling, Klaus kept murmuring to himself (or his ghosts?), Ben was crying, while the rest of the children were just locked in place, holding their breaths. The only one relaxed was Five, who, even at seven, was beyond his years and smarter than most. He spurned the idea of soulmates and automatically refused to be named, which pleased Father when he spoke his mind.  
Nonetheless, despite their nervousness, they went through the old routine. They cut their cake, they whispered happy birthday to each other when it hit 12:04 a.m (the exact moment of their birthday) and made their way to the living room. Usually, that would be the part with the presents, but, ironically, their names were the first gift that their Father gave them.

Number One was named first. He was called Luther, after his English Protestant mother. The name tasted odd on Vanya’s tongue when she said it, like a bitter cherry. Almost instantly after receiving his name, a mark appeared on Luther’s arm, as if it emerged from beneath his skin. The mark was written in a strange language, one that was all straight lines and inverted letters.

“That’s Russian,” Mom supplied helpfully with a smile, “ It says Sonya Avdonin. That’s your soulmate’s name”.

Luther continued to stare, his eyebrows drawn together as he tried to make out the letters.

The next to be named was Two. He kept fidgeting nervously, his eyes darting around the room, briefly catching Vanya’s gaze. Mom called him Diego, a nod to Mexico, where he was born. Vanya found the name to befitting, she had the urge to say it aloud, feel it coming off her lips. But, before she could try, she noticed that he did not have a soulmark. There nothing on his arm.

“ Oh,” Mom said with feigned surprise (although all of her emotions were feigned she was a robot after all), “ Looks like there's no mark. That could mean that you have no soulmate or it could mean they just weren't born yet,” she said gently then she paused. “ Or named yet”.

Diego continued to stare at his forearm with affront at his arm, his eyes pooling with unshed tears. But, before Vanya could take a look at him, he went to skulk off in the corner.  
Next up was Three, who smiled widely as she was given her name. Allison had a pleasant ring to it, which fit Three, who always tried to be nothing but pleasant. Her mark was beautiful, written in cursive, the letters spelling out the name Patrick Travis. Allison cooed over it, already coming up with all kinds of ideas about her soulmate.

Four was named Klaus, for his Nordic origins and obsession with Santa Klaus. He had hugged Mom as soon as she named him, which made Vanya fill with warmth. The name on his arm was written in simple script, spelling out the name Dave Mahoney. He smiled softly as he looked at it, stroking it with his fingers.

Six’s name was Benjamin, like the name of the bear that he clung to until he was five. It was softly-spoken and gentle, like Six himself. The name he got on his arm took its time to appear, which made Ben panic for a second, before he saw the black ink stained on his arm. His soulmate’s name was long and elaborate and too finely written for Vanya to read.

“ Marie-Apolline de B-Beauchamps,” Ben read aloud, his voice quaking.

Mom nodded encouragingly, murmuring something in Ben’s ear. That caused him to grin widely, his face aglow.

Vanya was given her name last, as Seven. Mom told her that the name would be fitting since she was born in Moscow, in the heart of winter. Vanya was an odd thing to be named, seeing as she didn’t feel remotely Russian, except for the fact that she always felt like there was a winter in her heart. 

She stood there, for a few moments, still processing the fact that she had a name now. She didn’t tug at her shirt to see her mark like all her other siblings have and she wouldn’t have for the next minute unless Allison asked to see it. So, Vanya numbly complied, pulling on her sleeve, revealing a messily written name in chicken scratch. For a few seconds, time seemed to stop. Even Vanya’s seven-year-old mind processed that the name on her name was wrong, that it was forbidden. She felt Allison go silent next to her and she could hear Mom’s soft footsteps as she leaned over to see it.

The name on Vanya’s arm was Diego Hargreeves. 

Her brother.

Klaus was the first to speak.

“ Diego?”, he exclaimed after seeing the mark. “Your soulmate is Two?!”.

At that, Diego, who was off by himself in the corner, came over, his brows furrowed. He glanced at Vanya’s arm, who still couldn’t move, and immediately jerked. He tugged at his own sleeve, revealing Vanya’s name written in her careful, considered writing instead of an empty space. The glass of water that Five was holding dropped. 

(Vanya wanted to shrink in herself and die).

Ironically, it was at that opportune moment that their father walked through the door, his monocle gleaming menacingly in the sun. He stalked over towards Vanya and Diego, who were staring at their marks in awe, and pulled at their arms to analyse the names written on them. 

“ Out of all the people,” he grumbled to himself, his voice harsh and cold.

“You are to forget about this,” he told Diego and Vanya forcefully. “ None of the soulmate nonsense in my house, you hear me, Two? You too, Seven”. 

Vanya couldn’t help but nod, her chin trembling. Diego did the same, his eyes dark and fathomless. For a moment, they caught each other’s eyes, watching the promise of hope die within their eyes.

The Hargreeves children got soulmates when they were seven.

The next morning, their marks were covered with Umbrella Academy tattoos.


	2. Everything Else Is An Ornament

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " I know your soul, everything else is an ornament" - Roshani Chokshi

Diego and Vanya didn't speak of their connection throughout most of their childhood.

There was nothing to speak of then. In their eyes as children, their father was the authority and if Father told them that they shouldn't speak of soulmates, then they wouldn't. Diego was ever the dutiful and diligent boy that tried to please his father and Vanya was forever the meek girl that feared her father’s frowns. Children’s hearts were not as exposed to the effects of soulmates. 

Soulmates were a complex, difficult concept for even some adults grasp. When you had a soulmate, they became many different things to you. A friend, a confidante, a lover, a companion, an obsession. Your soulmate was supposed to complete you, you orbited around them like the planets orbited the sun. 

No child could supposedly understand the depth of such a bond.

Not that they didn't feel that depth. 

The awareness that Diego was her other half was always present in the recesses of Vanya’s mind. There was a deep longing that lived within her, like a sleeping beast that was about to be woken up. Whenever he smiled or laughed or threw a knife, Vanya felt as if her heart was being pierced with a hot knife. There was no escaping from the intensity of feelings that Diego stirred within her.   
But, Vanya hid her feelings well. She was silent, invisible most of the time. The members of her family had no idea how deeply Vanya was affected by Diego until he came back injured from a mission.

“ Mom! Mom!”, Klaus cried as Luther carried in an unconscious Diego. 

Vanya, who was practicing her violin in the living room, dropped it as soon as she saw Diego. She came running into the foyer, her hands shaking, her breath uneven.

“ What happened?”, she cried as she looked around. “ What happened to him?”.

“ Some guy knocked the ever-living shit out of him on our Mission,” Five said with a grave tone. “Diego was too close to throw a knife”.

No, no, no, no, Vanya thought, this can't be. Not like this. Not to Diego. 

In Vanya’s mind, Diego had always been invincible, undefeated. Even though she was nervous whenever she watched him walk off to his missions, she was assured in the fact that he had knives and he knew how to use them. But, seeing him injured, vulnerable, made her realise that Diego was fallible. He was human, too. She could lose him just as easily as she gained him.

Tears began streaming down Vanya’s eyes. She glanced down at her mark, still written in the same chicken scratch handwriting. Panic overwhelmed her as he watched Diego take struggled breaths.

Mom stepped in behind her and placed a hand on Vanya’s shoulder. “ Vanya, your father is here. He will take care of Diego”.

“ No!”, Vanya cried. “ No! You can't take him from me! You can't! Don't take him from me!”.

“ Number Seven”, her father clipped behind her.“Behave yourself. You're being irrational”.

Vanya glared at her father, suddenly feeling enough anger to stand up to him. When it came to Diego, she would move mountains as long as he was safe. 

“ I am not going to leave him,” she said in a chilly tone. “ He is hurt and scared and alone. You can't stop me”.

“ Number Seven!”, her father yelled in a commanding tone.

But, before her father would go into another tirade, Pogo stepped out from the shadows. His wrinkled face looked saddened, his mouth pursed.

“ Master Hargreeves, let her,” Pogo said tiredly. “Separating soulmates at a time like this is not a good idea”.

Reginald Hargreeves was obviously not happy with Pogo calling Diego and Vanya soulmates but he didn't say anything. His jaw was tight, his eyes furious. But, nonetheless, he nodded at Vanya and let her come along with him as they tended after Diego.

Turned out Diego had two broken ribs and a broken wrist. He was bleeding internally and his lip was busted. As Mom, Pogo and Vanya’s Dad saw to Diego’s injuries, Vanya clutched his hand and sobbed quietly to herself. It was as if Diego’s pain was her own. As if his injuries were on her own body.

Is this how having a soulmate felt like?

“ Vanya, rest. Mr. Diego will be resting too. We're done now”, Pogo said gently.

Vanya shook her head. Her tears might've gone dry but her heart was still battered. She couldn't imagine letting Diego go.

Pogo shook his head but walked away.

Meanwhile, Vanya spent hours upon hours sitting next to Diego, watching him breathe before she slowly drifted off into sleep. 

When she woke, blinking away the bleariness in her eyes, she saw Diego, fully conscious, staring at her.

“ Diego!” , she cried as she leapt up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “ You scared me! You scared me so much!”.

“ Easy”, Diego chided, hissing a little bit. “ I'm s-still s-sore”.

“ I'm sorry”, Vanya exclaimed as she jumped away from him.

Diego started laughing.

Vanya stared at him in wonder, completely awestruck. Six years passed since they found they were soulmates. They were now thirteen. Much has changed since then, but especially Diego. He was taller, he looked more shapely. He lost that childhood chub that stuck so stubbornly to him throughout the years. Vanya, on the other hand, looked as skinny as ever. Unlike some other girls her age, she was completely flat chested. She was awkwardly shaped, almost mismatched. 

Everything in her was beating in awareness of Diego. It was like her entire body was calling out towards him, beckoning him closer. 

Diego seemed to notice it too, because he suddenly got very still. His pupils were blown open and his jaw was slack. 

Suddenly, he grabbed Vanya’s hand and held it to his chest. “ V-Vanya”, he whispered. “ Vanya you…”.

Vanya shuddered ever so slightly. She pressed her fingertips against Diego’s wrist, where her name was written. With a jolt, she realised that his heart was racing, his pulse beating against her fingers like a bird against a cage.

“ V-Vanya... you have n-no idea how you make m-me feel”, Diego stuttered in reverence, as if in a prayer.

“ I think I do”, Vanya giggled. “ It's exactly how you make me feel”.

His face moved closer to hers, his lips just inches away from hers. She held her breath, leaning in closer. But, just as Diego was about to move closer, the door shut behind them.

At the doorway stood Reginald Hargreeves himself. He was shaking with fury, his eyes gray like on a night of a thunderstorm.

“ Number Two! Number Seven! What is this?”, he raged. “ Explain yourselves immediately!”.

Vanya and Diego jumped away from each other, both looking like deer caught in the headlights. Vanya couldn't even croak out a word. She was too afraid her voice would betray her.

Diego, though, seemed to have enough courage to speak. “ Y-You c-can't tell us what to do. Vanya is my s-soulmate. You have to a-accept that”.

“ I am not accepting anything, Number Two. As long as you live under this roof, you will treat Seven like your sister. If you do not, I will not hesitate to kick you out of the Academy!”.

Vanya lowered her gaze. She felt like disappearing into the floor. She had never felt this humiliated in her entire life.

“ Y-you can’t do that!”, Diego wailed, his lip trembling.

Reginald ignored him as he took Vanya’s arm and began dragging her out of the room. Vanya jerked against him, desperately wishing to be back at Diego’s side. 

“ Let me go!”, she cried. “ Let me go now!”.  
Her father ignored her as he continued to drag her. Diego’s pleas could be heard through the walls of the house. Vanya felt like she was being torn in half. It felt like pure, undiluted torture.

“ I'm taking you to boarding school”, Reginald said coldly. “ Obviously, having you and Number Two in the same house was not a good idea. You are too attached to him”.

Vanya struggled even more against her father. He couldn't do this to her. He couldn't take her away from Diego. Diego was a part of her, he was woven into the very fabric of her soul. She would be torn to shreds without him close. It was too much pain, too much agony.

She screamed and screamed, willing whatever powers there were to save her from this madness. All night, while she was locked up in her room, she sobbed into her pillow, unable to sleep. For six years now, she had been ignoring Diego’s presence in her life as her soulmate. But, fear of Diego’s death pushed Vanya towards action. She had been so close - so very close. 

It was too late. All was gone now.


	3. Time never did assuage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say that “time assuages”,—  
Time never did assuage;  
An actual suffering strengthens,  
As sinews do, with age.
> 
> \- Emily Dickenson

Vanya stared across the table at her sister with a dull, almost lifeless look.

She realised what she must've looked like to Allison. Her skin was pale and her hair was a mousy, almost gray, colour. Not to mention her clothing, which consisted of the same five or so monotone sweaters that she kept in rotation. She was wearing a light pink one today, it was the most she could do to appear nice for her sister who she hadn't seen in three years.

" You look nice," Vanya commented.

Allison smiled. " Thank you, Vanya. That's sweet".

Allison really did look nice though. She died her hair blonde and her skin looked healthy and fresh. It was like there was a glow to it. She was wearing a deep forest green dress that clung to her gorgeous body. On her shoulders rested a black leather jacket that Vanya could only dream of pulling off.

I guess some things stay the same, she thought, Allison still looks better than me.

" I didn't expect to see you in London. When you called me, it was a... surprise," Vanya said.

Vanya had just come back from another long day of teaching at the Royal Conservatory when she received the call from Allison. They hadn't spoken for years at that point and the call had come as a surprise. But, it didn't end there. Allison said she wanted to meet Vanya personally at a cafe in Central London. 

Of course, Vanya couldn't say no. 

" I was asked to an interview with one of the local magazines. But, that wasn't why I came...," Allison said carefully with her gentle, careful tone. Her eyes moved to bore into Vanya's. They were the same warm colour of brown that she remembered. " I met my soulmate, Van. I met Patrick".

Vanya stilled.

She felt like she was being doused with ice water. It was the reaction she felt when anyone asked her about her soulmate or mentioned their own. It was dread, mixed with pain, fear and shock. Except, it was more pronounced this time. 

Vanya had grown up with Allison and while she had expected her to meet her soulmate... she hadn't expected it so soon. It was like salt on a very old wound.

" Oh," Vanya choked out. " I see... I'm so happy for you, Allison".

Vanya smiled awkwardly and clutched her tea cup closer.

" He's wonderful. He's everything that I dreamt of, yet not. I met him only a few months ago but, I already feel like I've known him all my life," Allison smiled with pure joy apparent on her face. But, as soon as caught Vanya's gaze, her smile disappeared and turned into a look of guilt and sorrow. " The thing that I came here for is actually an invitation. I wanted to invite you to our wedding".

Allison extended a white manila envelope across the table. Vanya's name was written across it in beautiful, looping cursive.

Vanya picked it up gingerly and opened the envelope. Inside it was the actual invitation with Allison and Patrick's name emblazoned with ink.

" Oh Allison, congratulations!". Vanya went ahead to hug her sister as her feelings overwhelmed her. 

She couldn't help but feel joy for Allison. For all the envy that she kept trapped, there was still a lot of love left. This was what her sister dreamt of for years. This was what she deserved.

" It's so nice of you to invite me," Vanya said as she retreated into her seat. " But you really didn't have to come all the way to England."

Allison smiled. " I wanted to see you too you know. It's been three years after all".

Vanya chuckled.

It has been long. But, Vanya couldn't help but feel that there was more to this. Allison was holding something back. Something big.

Vanya's heart stuttered.

" It's Diego, isn't it?", she asked numbly. 

Allison shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She played with the ring on her hand, twisting it round and round in a nervous motion.

" I invited him... I had to, Van, he's my brother," she said pleadingly, her eyes searching Vanya's face.

Vanya felt like her heart was being pierced.

Images of Diego flickered past her mind. Diego, holding a knife. Diego, injured. Diego, telling her that he never wants to see her again.

" Does he know you invited me?", she asked Allison.

She nodded. " I told him when I first invited him. I was in New York a couple weeks ago and he works in the NYPD. He... didn't take it well but he eventually agreed that this is the best for all of us".

Vanya balked. " The best for all of us? Allison I don't think you understand. I can't see him again. I can't".

Allison paled and pursed her lips. 

" I don't understanding everything but I do understand a few things. I grew up with the two of you and I know you better than most people in your lives. I don't want to put you in this position but how long are you planning to avoid each other? Five more years? Ten more years? The rest of your lives?". Allison sighed. " I need you to consider this, Vanya. I want my family at my wedding. You guys are all I have. It breaks my heart to see you this way".

With those words, Allison stood up from the table and bid her sister a goodbye. The white envelope that she gave Vanya stayed put in its place. Vanya stared at it with increasing intensity.

Memories of the last time she saw Diego flooded her. She left America five years ago because she couldn't bear being in the same country as him, knowing that he hated her. How could she hope to survive seeing?

Her eyes fell on her wrist, where she could still see Diego's name. As she aged, the chicken scratch was replaced with more coherent lettering, to the point that it almost looked sophisticated now. 

Vanya did wonder what he was up to.

Allison mentioned he was in the NYPD. She knew that it was his dream to be in the police, to serve justice to criminals. A warm feeling spread across Vanya's chest when she thought of that. But, there were still many questions in her mind.

Was he healthy? Did he find someone new? Was he happy? Did he still hate her?

As much as it would pain her, Vanya couldn't resist the temptation of finding out the answers to her questions. Maybe it was because Diego was her soulmate and there was an ache within her that urged her to seek him out. Or maybe it was because Diego was a fixture of the childhood that Vanya wanted to remember again. Either way, she knew what she had to do.

The next morning, Vanya Hargreeves booked a plane ticket to New York.


End file.
